Final Arrangements

7 Serving Beausejour & Northeastern Manitoba On-Call 24 Hours | On-Site State of the Art Crematorium 204-268-3510 or MB Toll Free 1-877-776-2220 www.soberingfuneralchapel.com Funeral Chapel & Crematorium SOBERING " Honouring Life " " Honouring Life " CANADIAN INDEPENDENT One Winnipeg Location Only Across from Brookside Cemetery 3030 Notre Dame Avenue Winnipeg, Manitoba R3H 1B9 neilbardalinc.com info@nbardal.mb.ca 949-2200 Call: (204) INC Arinbjorn S. Bardal Njall O. Bardal Neil O. Bardal Eirik L. Bardal Arinbjorn S. Bardal Njall O. Bardal Neil O. Bardal Eirik L. Bardal The Only Funeral Home Owned and Operated by the Bardal Family CAPTURING A PERSON'S essence EULOGY AN OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE TREASURED MEMORIES BY KRISTIN MARAND There may come a time when you find yourself in the unenviable position of having to give a eulogy for a loved one. When you do, you want to be prepared, discuss the contents with friends and family of the departed and deliver it with sincerity and confidence. Done well, a eulogy can provide an opportunity to bond with others who are also grieving, as well as a chance to remember the deceased with love and share their legacy through stories and treasured memories. Lee Barringer, general manager of Cropo Funeral Chapel, says an effective eulogy will capture the unique essence of the person and be no more than 10 to 15 minutes in length. "My advice to people is pick three things that you really remember about the deceased and then share stories that reflect those virtues," says Barringer, a certified celebrant speaker who speaks at numerous funeral services each year. If you've been asked to deliver a eulogy and are worried about where to start or how to fill the time, you should know that you don't have to go it alone. Barringer suggests talking to friends and family members to get a multi-dimensional perspective of the person. In fact, meeting with others to reflect on a person's life can be cathartic. "Often when people do that it's amazing how many stories have been forgotten about or stories they've never heard before and it's actually very healing to sit down with family beforehand," Barringer explains. The Internet offers a wealth of resources to help you write a eulogy, but you can also ask a funeral director or an organization like Toastmasters for guidance. Ryan Anderson, executive member of Toastmasters Winnipeg, advises that every speech should open with a hook. That can include an interesting anecdote, quote or even a poem, just as long as it suits the person you are speaking about. Include significant chronological details but try to avoid sounding like you're reading a resume of the person's life. Practising the eulogy can help you feel more relaxed with your delivery, even if you're not terribly comfortable speaking in front of a group of people. Taking the first step, or in this case, saying the first few words, can often be the most daunting part, acknowledges Anderson. Keep in mind that the audience wants you to succeed and if you find yourself getting emotional, know that the audience will relate. "Ask someone in the audience to be your support, or to finish it or just to be beside you in case there's a difficult section," he suggests. Berringer says its OK for the person delivering the eulogy to share what they're feeling. "It's OK to pause, it's OK to show emotion, it's OK to cry. That's all part of the healing process," Barringer adds. Some of the things to avoid in a eulogy include off-colour commentary, inside jokes, or stories that may be at someone else's expense. "Always ensure that you conclude the speech with a positive statement, anecdote or quote to finish it off, because you want to leave there feeling good, having a positive takeaway from it," Anderson says. You should also strive for emotional honesty, Barringer explains. "Speak from the heart, make sure you get the essence of the person: this is that one last chance to tell the world who they were and how much you loved them," he says. Toastmasters International has writing tips and resources on their website at toastmasters.org. Local chapters welcome guests to their weekly meetings, currently being held on Zoom. A list of services provided by Cropo Funeral Chapel can be found at cropo.com PHOTO BY DARCY FINLEY Lee Barringer of Cropo Funeral Chapel says a eulogy should capture a person's essence and strive for emotional honesty.

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